This is my job

It’s Monday again and so rolls the world in the ho-hum hundrum of everyday life.

I wonder at times if I am accomplishing anything.

Being a Mom of 4 kids ages  8,6,4 and 5 months means a lot of repeating myself. I have even started making a list of what I accomplished on some days next to my to do lists so that I can see I did alot- even if not what I had planned or hoped.

The kids were delivered to their lessons nearly on time. The baby was well cared for. Meals were prepared. Homework was finished. I ran his aunt to the store as we do once a week. . .

Yet somehow I get this lingering feeling that I could have, should have done more.

I didn’t have time to work on my online business, there was no time for marketing my products, there was no time for painting. I long to be selling more, but how does one build an online business? Others seem to do so effortlessly- for me it is sort of hit and miss.

And yet when the day winds down and the kids start drifting off to sleep and I am left with perhaps a couple of hours of quiet I am reminded that this is my job. Mothering is what I need to do now, here, today.

There were will be time perhaps someday for building a business more thoroughly, and chasing those dreams.

But for now I will delight in the sweet scent of my baby- and his cooing and babbling. I adore babyhood and it is such a fleeting time. How I wish there was some way to always have a baby in the house 🙂 But since there isn’t I will capture these moments in my heart, and on paper and photos.

And I will read Laura Ingalls books when my eyes are weary. And pray and talk for so long my arms go numb on the edge of the top bunk while my 8 year old shares his heart and thoughts about ozones, and life, and friends.

Because this is my job. . . . and I love it!

Pride and Thanks

Days fly by in this race of life. Days filled up with raising 3 kids, gardening, running kids about, painting, cooking and being a wife and all.

Spring is slowing making herself known and it is like being reacquainted with an old friend- the greenness of it all- somehow I forget every winter just how green this beautiful place is. The leaves have burst open, the tulips are waving their fiery heads. Aww. . . . how spring delights the senses.

I want to stop and express my thanks to the One who created all this. Thanks for provision, thanks for good times as well as hard- because He uses all of this to make us who we are.

We have been working hard at reading for our soon to be 7 year old, he must start school come Autumn and due to our dual language family and his learning to read already a bit in both languages his reading in Latvian is behind what it ought to be. Dad has taken over this “fight” and the Legos have been put away until he gets this mastered. He is reading, though slowly and is making improvements (though not without a daily quarrel on the matter).

I am so thankful that his teacher sees the progress and praised his good behavior this week at his kindergarten lesson. That was a like a breath of fresh air to this Mama’s soul.

I am also so thankful my husband stepped in to fight this battle with out very stubborn boy who would rather be doing ANYTHING to avoid homework and reading practice. Since he stepped in our boy’s respect issues have subsided and he knows his place again. We Mom’s need to let our husbands rule these growing men in our homes. . .

Thankfulness – that somehow God works all things out for His good.

Through the Tunnel

A week has passed since I got back from my Mom-cation to living and surviving my real life.

The temp of real life is so fast, so rushed, so full. At times I feel overwhelmed by it all- yet in a positive light now.

This week I celebrated my birthday and meeting up with other friends who have infants I saw that they too are struggling and overwhelmed like I felt just 2 weeks ago before I went on my little vacation.

I have this visual picture of Moms going through this tunnel. Being a Mom and raising a child are by far the most difficult task I have ever known.

As a Mommy I know how you feel when you are sleepless, over-tired, and over-dramatic. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode with the smallest spark. A fussy toddler, a disobedient child, a word thoughtlessly spoken- each of this fuel to kindle your already raging soul-fire.

I know the guilt of feeling you ought to be a better, more patient, more organized, more healthy, more ANYTHING Mom.

I know the longing for peace- wholeness- and a healthy, harmony filled family.

I know that walking through these days of having young children seems like a dark tunnel at times. It may seem you have no time for you and your identity is disappearing into days spent doing monotonous everydays.

But YOU will survive. You will thrive. You will LIVE.

I can see that I have come through that tunnel and I had no idea how that could occur, For me the break into light was my mini vacation. For you it might be something else, but I want to encourage you to find time to be alone (or with your infant0 and sort through your emotions.

Today when I opened my Bible these words jumped out- perfectly spoken on this topic. ,

Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.”He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.

Mark 6:30-31 NLT

I know dear one that you might feel badly taking a few hours or days for yourself. I felt the same way, but the old saying goes, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

A quote I read the other day blessed me much, it is so true and helps keep perspective in our search for joy in life:

For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his/her happiness on major events like a great job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.”
— Andy Rooney