First Birth

As I prepare for the birth of our third child I want to take some time and reflect on the other two home births I have experienced. Here is the story of the birth of our firstborn son. (As written in my journal).
June 17, 2008
During the night I started having contractions or cramps. And have been having them ever since at irregular intervals. 
We were of course awake early, though I feel I barely slept. It is hard to sleep between 10 min. pains. J was very excited something has finally started happening. He has been very thoughtful, doing all he can to make me comfy and help around the house. He is cleaning a lot, he wants to get everything ready. 
It is so hard to understand if this is the real thing,  yet it seems I have been trickling water.
It is rainy. I had imagined it being sunny when our child was born. But I have come to understand that the sound of rain is very relaxing for me. 
18:57
Our midwife is coming. Thank God she is free. Contractions are more frequent and stronger. Let everything progress smoothly forward. I can’t believe we are going to have a baby and be parents so soon. 
WRITTEN LATER: 
Our midwife arrived about 20:00 and listened to the baby’s heart beat.  During the night my contractions continued and I endured them in various poses. Sometimes I leaned on J, other times I knelt. Our midwife worked on her computer, listened to the heartbeat now and then (it was strong), suggested poses etc. 
About 2 a.m the midwife went to sleep for a bit. J also fell asleep, only to awake with a start and announce he must drink some coffee (which he hardly ever does ) 
About 5 a.m. I wanted to go outside. Both J and Rudite our midwife were asleep. I pulled on rubber boots and went out, but everything was wet with dew and it was cold so I came in again. It was sunny, but wet. 
About 6 a.m. J and I ate a little. I ate toast. He held me on his lap during the contractions, I was kneeling. He read aloud to me from the Bible at some point. He kissed me and tried to help however he could. He even gave me a manicure. 
At some point I went in the bath to relax. 
(During the course of all this I vomited 3 times from pain). 
Somewhere during the late morning Rudite checked and said I was nearly fully dilated. They started making preparations for birth. They put pillows down on the floor so I could kneel more comfortably, etc. Rudite said she would come when I wanted her, she wasn’t just going to watch. ( I liked that). 
At one point I had such a painful contraction that I wanted her back. She had me lay down to rest. A contraction started, I wanted to stand up- but felt I couldn’t. When I did the baby started coming down so far that it was extremely painful. I guess this was the beginning of the pushing stage. I really started screaming.
During this stage I mostly sat on the toilet, which was covered. Each push or bearing down was so painful. I couldn’t help screaming, “God, have mercy. God, help me. ” Rudite came at one point and reminded me he was helping me- and to thank him. (I was very thankful for this later). She told me this was a transition to motherhood. To think of my baby. 
I felt I’d split in two. My body itself would push forward, but I would try stopping it so as to be stretched slowly. Rudite had said the baby would come down and then go up a bit. It felt like he just was coming down and then would stop. 
She came and wanted me to tell her how far the baby was. I could feel a bulge. She was pleased and wanted me to move to the bedroom. It was hard to walk at that point. I knelt by the bed and with a few more pushes he was out. Oh, the relief of feeling the pressure ease when he slithered out. 
He was placed in my arms, blue at first but quickly becoming pink. I looked and saw it was a boy. I then asked J if he knew it was a boy. He was surprised. 
When I needed to stand to push the placenta out I felt faint and as soon as it was out they helped me quickly into bed. 
Our son was born, very small, but healthy. 
He was born at 38 weeks. 
He weighed 2470 grams and was 49 cm. long.
June 18, 2008
14:04
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